Where have all the dads gone?

Today, we’ll once again venture off topic just a little. I have something I must get off my chest. This might be a little painful for some to read but it comes from my heart and it’s not only my perspective, but it’s the truth. I’m talking about dads. Where have all the dads gone that should be raising their own kids?

Mother Nature and the animal world understand how to raise their young to be independent and teach them to fend for themselves in the cruel animal kingdom. They are taught responsibility at an early age in order to survive and once the mother feels they are capable of going out on their own, she pushes them away or in the bird world…. out of the nest.

But let’s look at what has transpired in the last 20 years with regards to the male version of the human race, known as dads. As a dad who has raised a son and two daughters, I am aware that there are a number of men walking away from their responsibilities. They are no longer committed to raising their own kids and expect grandparents/teachers/coaches or the wife (they’ve walked out on) to raise these young kids.

A lot of the young kids today no longer have a dad’s perspective on how to deal with some of life’s tough issues. They have no idea on how to navigate the difficult day to day problems that arise. So, who are these kids turning to for advice? Well in some cases, it’s people that we don’t want giving them advice. One thing is for certain, kids will turn to whoever is willing to give the time they so desperately desire.

Kids don’t always make good choices when seeking out a male role model mainly because they are looking in the wrong places. This is where a dad is supposed to point them in the right direction. You would hope they would want to look at their own dad as the person they should be trying to emulate.

So, what is the result of this lack of guidance? First of all, it has led to a weaker generation of young boys and girls who have lost the ability to lead.   It’s a generation that has little to no toughness or determination to compete in today’s brutal world. It’s a generation that has no respect for any type of authority.

Many of today’s youth have been raised in a society where everyone gets a trophy. They have no understanding of how to handle defeat or rejection when they lose a game or interview for a job. Learning how to handle rejection is a part of life and growing up. Rejection teaches us that we need to work harder in order to achieve the goals we have in life.

So many student-athletes are coming out of high school as an all-district or maybe an all-state athlete and think they should be a “starter” in their sport their first year in college. They don’t want to accept the fact they have to earn that starting position. This is also why the so-called “portal” that exists in college athletics is out of control and full of athletes that don’t want to compete for a starting position because they think they are entitled to that position due to their past success before they got to college.

So back to the question of the day: where are the dads that should be teaching many of life’s lessons? In my eyes, many have CHOSEN to walk away due to their own selfish wants or needs. They have rejected their responsibility of raising their kids to be respective and productive citizens.

If this does not change, our country will continue in a downward spiral led by people who don’t know how to lead. Step up dads and do your job! Do the job that is your responsibility! Teach your kids good work ethics and how to take defeat or rejection and turn it into something positive. Teach them that dedication and hard work are still the backbone for having success.

Till next time, be a dad and do what you were put on this earth to do…raise your kids!

Steve Graf                                                                                         Angler’s Perspective